You've brought me joy...pure unexplainable joy

Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions and their answers would determine whether they could continue their journey in the afterlife.
The first question was, "Did you bring joy?"
The second was, "Did you find joy?"
-Leo Buscaglia

living in a cave for a century

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man should have to seek after HIM to find her."

he looks underage...card him

Is there a certain age you must be to buy cigarettes?
I would imagine that the age would be 18 or 21.
Today my uncle went to buy his beloved cigarettes at the gas station.
He approaches the cashier which is a girl of about 19 or 2o im guessing.
He says, "Ma'm, may I have a pack of cancer rolled into pieces of paper please?"

Actually, it was probably something along the lines of, "Can I get a pack?"

The girl asked him for ID because he "looks under 40"
Under 40?! What does that matter?
Can you not be 39 and buy cigarettes?

He does not look like a kid, mind you.
My uncle is obviously over the legal age.
But since he had no ID on him, she would not sell him the cigarettes.

ha-ha!

He gave her a piece of his mind and went OFF.
Man, he flipped his lid.
But isn't it good to know that our laws are working.
Thankyou random 18 year old cashier.

Lions and Tigers and Bears

I used to be bitter.
Like baker's chocolate...
I was just a big piece of sugarless cocoa.
Which actually doesn't look too bad, until you've bitten into it.

That's how I was. I was not such a nice person.
I've changed now, for the better.
But back then in my bitter chocolate days, I said this many times.
"I hate kids."

Now, I looked at children with a sqeamish look.
They were either bald, ugly, whiney, or annoying.
They drooled, and spit, and screamed.
I did not care for them in the slightest.
And now, I look back on my self and think... I was so grey.
I was a grey person, surrounded by some grey people, living a grey life.
But that's how I chose it.
How could I have chosen it?

Since then I have grasped onto the colors of the world for dear life.
Slowly bringing them upon my self.
And I'm not as grey.

I now look at children, and I like them.
I think they can be charming, and funny, and witty, and kind.
They are intelligent, and innocent, and i like them.

It took one trip to the zoo to show me the truth.
I never hated kids. I never even disliked kids.
Really, I hated bratty kids.
And i still do.

Set the scene.
I am in the restroom waiting for a stall to open.
A girl maybe 9 or 10 walks in.
See sees that I am standing there waiting patiently, and as soon as the stall opens, she walks right past me into the stall.
I nearly broke the door down.
Instead, I said loudly to no one in particular "I hate rude kids!"
She must have heard me. She did nothing though...that is until we were outside.

I was sitting on a white bench.
She takes a sip of water from the drinking fountain
and promptly spits it out...splattering me.
She then says, "EEEEWWW THAT TASTES LIKE ANIMAL WATER!!!!"

I almost said, "Well, then it suits you."
but I held my tongue.

cookin up tension

Is it really necessary for you to shoot me down?
Do I even know you?
No. I don't know you. And you don't know me.
Not at all.

So, who are you that you can bad-mouth me?
trash-talk me?
you're the piece of trash that has wandered into the nice part of town.
That puts itself in sheeps clothing but then claws out and tears up the innocent sheep.

I don't care what you think.
I look into your judgemental eyes.
You scoff, and I don't care what you think.

put on your fangs and your blood-matted coat
go back to your dumpster

It'll be shoved down your throat

I have had it up to here with rude, inconsiderate people
My own generation in particular is so corrupt and disrespectful
that I am ashamed to be apart of it.

I've felt this way for a long time,
but last night I saw something that
really sent it over the top

I went to Disneyland with two of my good friends
The night was going better than expected,
short lines, fun rides, good food
But then, as we were getting ready to leave
we decided to go on one last ride: the matterhorn.

We landed in line right behind a very loud group of girls
By our immediate observations they were all pretty and all obnoxious
Also, judging on how they were acting, they were all freshmen
They had their cameras out and kept snapping pictures of eachother
which was already annoying since the flash was so bright in the dark
They were all holding those light up plastic swords and wearing pink tiaras
Also, they couldn't finish a sentence without saying, "Daaaayyyyum."

Now, if these girls want to act this way and have fun within themselves
I really have no objection to that, but then they took it to a new level
As people walked past the line, the girls would poke them with their swords or stick there cameras in their face and snap pictures of them,
giving these strangers temporary blindness

Then, there was a person sitting
on a bench
all by themselves
with a hood pulled over their head
minding their own business

We were behind this person, so I couldn't tell their age
maybe old, maybe young
But the point is, they were minding their own business
Maybe they were having a terrible night
and had just been crying on that bench
Maybe they were going through something really difficult

You never know...

Well, these girls thought it might be funny
to reach across with their light up swords
and poke this person in the back of their head
multiple times

It took every drop of self control in my entire body
to keep myself from doing or saying something
to these girls that I will regret

Things like that, just make me realize
how little some people care for others

How little regard we have for others feelings
and situations
and how little empathy we have

So, I said a silent prayer for that person that had been the object of these girls selfish good time and I hope that one day
those girls learn a lesson about life and people in it

Don't be one of those people.

Spring-a-ling-a-ling-time!

Happy Easter to you, one and all.
Since it is spring, and this time is famous for the beginning of life
[Babies and kittens and flowers...things like that.]
The lovely things of life!
I decided to post a blog.

I was just speaking to a good friend of mine, Lauren Finke.
I'm sure she'll be excited about this shoutout.
Ha-ha.
We were talking about bulldogs.

I've decided, even though I am not a big fan of doggy slobber.
I really, really want a bulldog!
I am now starting a fund for myself.
It will be called my "i want a bulldog fund"

I plan on having quite the interesting array of animals when I'm older
Here are the animals I want:

1) A bulldog


Dude, look at this fella.
Isn't he just unbearably cute?


2) A bengal cat


Bengal cats are less domestic than most cats.
They still have that wild streak, and they are spotted like leopards.
I made good friends with a Bengal cat at the animal shelter.

3) A sugarglider


I've wanted one of these for years.
They are completely amazing, and a bit like flying squirrels.
Only you can keep them as pets.

So, if anyone wanted to buy one for me, then I would love you for a long time.