You've brought me joy...pure unexplainable joy

Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions and their answers would determine whether they could continue their journey in the afterlife.
The first question was, "Did you bring joy?"
The second was, "Did you find joy?"
-Leo Buscaglia

living in a cave for a century

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man should have to seek after HIM to find her."

he looks underage...card him

Is there a certain age you must be to buy cigarettes?
I would imagine that the age would be 18 or 21.
Today my uncle went to buy his beloved cigarettes at the gas station.
He approaches the cashier which is a girl of about 19 or 2o im guessing.
He says, "Ma'm, may I have a pack of cancer rolled into pieces of paper please?"

Actually, it was probably something along the lines of, "Can I get a pack?"

The girl asked him for ID because he "looks under 40"
Under 40?! What does that matter?
Can you not be 39 and buy cigarettes?

He does not look like a kid, mind you.
My uncle is obviously over the legal age.
But since he had no ID on him, she would not sell him the cigarettes.

ha-ha!

He gave her a piece of his mind and went OFF.
Man, he flipped his lid.
But isn't it good to know that our laws are working.
Thankyou random 18 year old cashier.

Lions and Tigers and Bears

I used to be bitter.
Like baker's chocolate...
I was just a big piece of sugarless cocoa.
Which actually doesn't look too bad, until you've bitten into it.

That's how I was. I was not such a nice person.
I've changed now, for the better.
But back then in my bitter chocolate days, I said this many times.
"I hate kids."

Now, I looked at children with a sqeamish look.
They were either bald, ugly, whiney, or annoying.
They drooled, and spit, and screamed.
I did not care for them in the slightest.
And now, I look back on my self and think... I was so grey.
I was a grey person, surrounded by some grey people, living a grey life.
But that's how I chose it.
How could I have chosen it?

Since then I have grasped onto the colors of the world for dear life.
Slowly bringing them upon my self.
And I'm not as grey.

I now look at children, and I like them.
I think they can be charming, and funny, and witty, and kind.
They are intelligent, and innocent, and i like them.

It took one trip to the zoo to show me the truth.
I never hated kids. I never even disliked kids.
Really, I hated bratty kids.
And i still do.

Set the scene.
I am in the restroom waiting for a stall to open.
A girl maybe 9 or 10 walks in.
See sees that I am standing there waiting patiently, and as soon as the stall opens, she walks right past me into the stall.
I nearly broke the door down.
Instead, I said loudly to no one in particular "I hate rude kids!"
She must have heard me. She did nothing though...that is until we were outside.

I was sitting on a white bench.
She takes a sip of water from the drinking fountain
and promptly spits it out...splattering me.
She then says, "EEEEWWW THAT TASTES LIKE ANIMAL WATER!!!!"

I almost said, "Well, then it suits you."
but I held my tongue.