I don't know what to title this...

I am in such a bizarre, amazing, joyful mood right now.
Lately, many things have been getting me down
and these trivial disappointments have caused me to take a few steps
back from all the people that love me.
I've been quite anti-social these past few weeks.
I kind of gave up. I lost the the ability to care.
I just didn't want to talk to anyone.

But...I don't know.
Now, I just feel so hopeful.
Like, I have the entire world before me and I can't wait to just
gallop towards new experiences and people.
This can only mean one thing...Big Guy upstairs has finally ended my silly game of tag.
He just bellowed "GOTCHA!" in my eardrums and my entire body...
no, more like my entire BEING is quivering with excitement for HIS PLAN.
He wasn't even playing tag with me really...I was running away, but he was just sitting there, waiting for me to tire out and come home to His welcoming arms.


Dude, I don't even know what to do with all this joy.
I feel like running up and down my street a few times until I release all this pent up energy.



:D

this is it, this is it

if it weren't for the twirly-swirly-wizard-of-oz-storm
making its way around the canals and inner work-ings
of my brain...

maybe, perhaps, i would know how to begin...
introductions were never my thing.

so
why
is
it
that when you are so young, everything
begins to feel like armageddon
i have survived the end of the world
count-less times
if this is true
but it's not, it can't be...

left shoulder says grasp, claw, fake your way
even if it means you lose yourself
because somewhere deep inside your gut
you know you want it...

right shoulder SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF his/her lungs
be a constant, nothing lasts forever, only Him.
listen to mr. teo and miss cornelia.
please, they do know best.
even if they do connect ev-er-y-thing to a well thought out
fantasy world

so, may I take a quick li-ttle vote:
why do I continue listening to my stupid
left
shoulder?

Playlist of the week 2

Ain't No Rest For the Wicked - Cage the Elephant
"I saw the shadow of a man creep out of sight,
then he swept up from behind, put a gun up to my head,
he made it clear he wasn't looking for a fight,
he said give me all you've got, I want your money, not your life,
if you try to make a move I won't think twice.
I told him you can have my cash, but first you know I've got to ask,
what made you want to live this kind of life?"


I Know What I Am - Band of Skulls
"Cut, tease,
Better believe,
I got the feeling that I'm underneath,
But I know what I am,
They know what they are
So let me be."


Oscar Wilde - Company of Thieves
"Time keeps on ticking away,
Always running away.
We're always running from time.
Time keeps on ticking away,
Always running away.
We're always running in time.
We are all our own devil
We are all our own devil
And we make this world our hell."


Hold the Fort - Rachel Bishop
"Fierce and long, the battle rages
But our help is near
Onward comes our great commander
Cheer my comrades, cheer!
Hold the fort, for I am coming
Jesus signals still
Wave the answer back to heaven
By the grace of God we will!"


Pony (It's OK) - Erin McCarley
"It`s time for you to prove,
Within your ruby shoes
You deserve a smile with no regret,
Look at you
Kicking off your shoes,
Dancing for the world to see,
You got the power to believe,
Open up and see,
And go be free and fly away."


Dead and Gone - Lewis & Clarke
"Everything around's goin over my head
Cos' you struck a nerve that I thought had gone dead
Head is hangin down and your eyes are turnin black
Waitin for the devil and the hand that bites back
Oh no, not you...dead and gone
Oh no, was it you...all along?"


The Oracles on the Delphi Express - The Dear Hunter
"Stick with us, throw your morals out the door
You aren't in the land of the river and the lake no more
Makeshift schemes, we've got plenty here for you
Lock away your dreams and throw away the key.
You've been stuck in the middle of patience and animosity.
With a lust for solidity, and a cryptic history
your lucks running thin."


The First Single (You Know Me) - The Format
"You know me, oh you think you do, you just dont seem to see
I've been waiting all this time to be
something I can't define
so let's cause a scene,
clap our hands and stomp our feet or something."


Close To Your Heart - The Glorious Unseen
"You look down from heaven
And melt me with your gaze
Then you come down from heaven
And wrap me in your wings
And it makes me feel loved again
So close in your arms
And it makes me feel home again
So close to your heart."


You Are the Moon - The Hush Sound
"You don't see what you possess,
A beauty calm and clear-
It floods the sky and blurs the darkness
like a chandelier.
All the light that you possess,
Is skewed by lakes and seas.
The shattered surface,
So imperfect,
Is all that you believe."

Playlist of the week 1

Greatest Friend - Cathy Crescendo
"But if you forgot how to love, we'll teach you again.
I'm gonna scream it till they know that jesus christ is lord.
Is this boring? I'll tell you you a story, then, about my long lost love and my greatest friend."


There Cannot Be A Close Second - Copeland
"You've got an extra special heart
a perfect light that shines through.
But it seems like the hardest part is shining back at you.
So forgive me if I don't know what to do...
when you look at me."


Shoreline - Deas Vail
"The shoreline calls the sea, for simple words and company.
But words go on and on, till they collide and all is gone.
I dive into the deep— into the sea inside of me
To find another song, To find a place where I belong."


The Ponytail Parades - Emery (the acoustic version!)
"Three sleepless nights...this isn't how it's supposed to be,
but you're so good at taking your time to get back to me.
and i will wait for you forever, if you would just ask me
and I thought that I could change you, but you've changed me..."


Sleeping For So Long - Fairgreen
"I was a fool to think there was nothing more
to life beyond the tangible...
to sacrifice my soul for fame and gold.
Just to die alone, forgotten of.
Forgive me of my crimes, open up my eyes.
I've been up all night, just to see the sunrise
I just wanna see the sun!"


She Is - The Fray
"This is gonna break me clean in two...
This is gonna bring me close to you...
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted.
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed."


Fairest of them All - Slaid Cleaves
"Oh, let me be in the city of angels.
Yes, this is what I want...
To put on my dress and some red, red lipstick.
Let all the people watch me as I walk."


Do You Feel - The Rocket Summer
"I guess my mind wanders off from time to time
Sometimes I convince myself
that all is fine in the world...
It's not mine! Why should I have to try
to fix things I didn't create or contrive?"


Fools in Love - Inara George
"Fools in love...are there any other kinds of lovers?
Fools in love...is there any other kind of pain?
Everything you do, everywhere you go now...
everything you touch, everything you feel...
everything you see, everything you know now...
everything you do, you do it for your baby love."


Clean Getaway - Maria Taylor
"I met someone at the bar.
He had a great smile and a great heart.
He felt just like love.
Except no fear of losing, and it wasn't tough.
I finally made it, I made a clean getaway.
I finally made it, I made a clean getaway.
And I miss you,
I miss you every single day."

butt-crack.

"buttcrack: American slang for the cleft of the buttocks."

hahaha, not even kidding.
i'm going to call it a butt-cleft from this moment on.

Can't you see?

I'll bring to you whatever you need
And I'll tell you I'm sorry
That I can't take this pain away from you
And I'd put it on my own body if I knew how to
Can't you see?

-Testing the strong ones
by Copeland

my dear friends!

I love having friends that understand me.

That will put pillows under their shirt and pretend to be pregnant
and dance around with me without thinking i'm weird.

Friends that will blast N'sync in the car and scream the lyrics as loud as we can
out the window.

Friends that will ask me questions like "Do you ever pretend to be dead?"

Friends that will stay up all night making me a birthday cake from scratch.
And when they fail...they write "we tried" on top of the cake in frosting
as an explanation.

Friends that will spend two hours in the greeting card aisle with me...
because they know I love greeting cards.

Friends that make me mixed cds "just because"

Friends that won't ask questions or show surprise or disgust when I come up with one of my crazy schemes.

Friends that will duct-tape me to a tree.
and allow me to duct-tape THEM to a tree as well.

Friends that have been, are, and always will be there for me.

Friends that listen to me when I need them, even if it's the middle of the night.

Friends that understand and accept my quirks.

Friends that seek God with everything they have.

Friends that tell me they miss me, even if I just left their house 2 minutes ago.

Friends that will ask me "What's wrong?" if they see the "off" look on my face.

Friends that will stay up till the wee hours of the morning to hear about my day. and tell me about theirs.

Friends that I can trust with anything. No matter how overly funny, sad, scary, or overwhelming it may me.

Friends that will do ballet on the beach with me.

Friends that make me feel like the luckiest person on earth.

Friends that will spend the whole day doing nothing with me
and then say "This was the best day ever".

Friends that will eat mcdonald's with me and say "Forget you" to everyone who thinks mcdonalds is gross.

Friends that inquire and care about my family. even if they've never met them.

Friends that write me silly poems and then read them to me in front of the entire class.

Friends that will have "yellow" parties and photography adventures with me.

Friends that will stay up until 5am playing games, watching exercise television,
and laughing until we turn bright red.

God has blessed me with all of these.