I want?

i want to travel more
even if its just exploring my own neighborhood
pretending to be a visitor to my own town
so much has been left undiscovered
you can spend so much time somewhere
and yet be lost
its unfamiliar when you don't have the daily distractions

i want to eat healthy
ceremoniously burn every piece of poison
it all lives in my kitchen
slow murder? no.
slow suicide more likely.

i want to find my kindred spirit
& dance to the sounds of nature and decay
I want to read to elders and sing to children
even if my voice cracks and i blush
they only want someone to care

i want to stop being so negative
mostly judgemental...mostly cynical
where is the positivity?
its in me, i know
everyone has grown accustomed so i go along
so not to rock the boat
but the boat is going to rock
and you're all going to be sick
sea sick

i want to love all people, more than i already do
we have screened personalities
what are we hiding from? ourselves or others?
come give me a hug and we'll forget all about this
all of it
and leave only our dust behind

i want to stay away from drama
& the people that cause it
i want to find the ones that love
and care about others, with a regard for life
at its best or at its worst
only the regard matters to me

i want to paint more than i do
i want to sing more than i do
i want to cry more
i want to be honest
i want to stand in the sunlight
instead of shrink into the dark
stretch out my fingers and breathe in all that God has created

i want to listen to birds every other day
your hushed whispers in between
we giggle as our toes scrunch the sand
sand angels and the warmth of the fire
flickers and ashes, reminding us of tales of the past

i want to take a road trip somewhere
burn the maps
all we need is the fire in our chests
and the childlike joy in our step
let's skip somewhere we've never been
and show everyone that it's ok to be joyful

I want to go on a picnic
make our own meal...or attempt it
lie in the grass befriending the creatures
look at the stars and take pictures
i want to watch more foreign films
i want to mute the television and make up monologue
lie on our backs in front of the theater screen and forget about everyone else

i want to eat more foreign foodt
o go along with my foreign films
ticking cardboard boxes...we don't have much time left.
do we now? i think not.
but we can stretch it out.
Father time and Mother nature on our side.

i want to stay in more
instead of going out

where's my hot tea?