butt-crack.

"buttcrack: American slang for the cleft of the buttocks."

hahaha, not even kidding.
i'm going to call it a butt-cleft from this moment on.

Can't you see?

I'll bring to you whatever you need
And I'll tell you I'm sorry
That I can't take this pain away from you
And I'd put it on my own body if I knew how to
Can't you see?

-Testing the strong ones
by Copeland

my dear friends!

I love having friends that understand me.

That will put pillows under their shirt and pretend to be pregnant
and dance around with me without thinking i'm weird.

Friends that will blast N'sync in the car and scream the lyrics as loud as we can
out the window.

Friends that will ask me questions like "Do you ever pretend to be dead?"

Friends that will stay up all night making me a birthday cake from scratch.
And when they fail...they write "we tried" on top of the cake in frosting
as an explanation.

Friends that will spend two hours in the greeting card aisle with me...
because they know I love greeting cards.

Friends that make me mixed cds "just because"

Friends that won't ask questions or show surprise or disgust when I come up with one of my crazy schemes.

Friends that will duct-tape me to a tree.
and allow me to duct-tape THEM to a tree as well.

Friends that have been, are, and always will be there for me.

Friends that listen to me when I need them, even if it's the middle of the night.

Friends that understand and accept my quirks.

Friends that seek God with everything they have.

Friends that tell me they miss me, even if I just left their house 2 minutes ago.

Friends that will ask me "What's wrong?" if they see the "off" look on my face.

Friends that will stay up till the wee hours of the morning to hear about my day. and tell me about theirs.

Friends that I can trust with anything. No matter how overly funny, sad, scary, or overwhelming it may me.

Friends that will do ballet on the beach with me.

Friends that make me feel like the luckiest person on earth.

Friends that will spend the whole day doing nothing with me
and then say "This was the best day ever".

Friends that will eat mcdonald's with me and say "Forget you" to everyone who thinks mcdonalds is gross.

Friends that inquire and care about my family. even if they've never met them.

Friends that write me silly poems and then read them to me in front of the entire class.

Friends that will have "yellow" parties and photography adventures with me.

Friends that will stay up until 5am playing games, watching exercise television,
and laughing until we turn bright red.

God has blessed me with all of these.

come ON!

It makes me so sad to see couples that don't treat eachother with respect.
Especially (ahem...) teenage couples.
Seriously, how dumb do you sound when you say "Daaaaangg babayyy grrrl, you lookinnn' fine as helll."

Are you kidding?
Fine as hell?
Please...get a fully fuctioning brain
and a more expanded vocabulary.

I even see husbands and wives talk to eachother like that.


When I have a husband, he won't just be my husband.
He'll be my best friend.
My companion.
My safety.
My better half.
My hand to hold.
My partner in crime. and life.
The one I share everything with.
from dreams to silly thoughts.
He will be my crown.
and I will be his.

We will be young elders.
and old children.
Living life beside eachother.

Can't you guys understand how precious that's supposed to be?

I'm losing it.

When did I get soooo apathetic towards school?

I used to semi-enjoy school, actually.
But now...I look at it as something so pointless.

I literally believe that I could do just fine in the world without knowing
any greek mythology, or geometry, or MLA format. (stupid...)

The only things I remember at the end of the day are bible class and the bits of inspiration from my newspaper staff.
and that, I kid you not...is all I remember.

I feel like an idiot in english class because I feel no motivation to write with so much format.

format withing format WITHIN FORMAT.
it's exhausting.
it's overwhelming.

It has brought me many nights of sobbing and being red in the face.
That class has brought me so many mental and emotional breakdowns.

I don't know if I can take it anymore.

The list of what I need in life:

The Bible...my sword
love for my God
love for people...those I dislike too


Why am I wasting my life sitting in this desk?
It's so beautiful! It's so full of wonder!
I don't want to spend it here!

2009...

Here is my only new year's resolution:

Let my heart be broken with the things that break the heart of God.

Need. Want.

Need:

coffee
a haircut
to stop biting my nails
to stop procrastinating
motivation for all these things

Want:

eternally un-chapped lips
...that's it.